To experience a bit more of the country, as we’re adventurous types, Laura and I embarked on a 3 day trek through the Northern Hill Tribes with Tiger Treks. It had none of the bells and whistles like other tours (some include elephants and “white” water rafting) it was a biking and bamboo rafting trekking sandwich and here’s a recap. We were out of reception so I managed to make my phone battery last 3 days it was bliss!

Day One:
We disposed of our cumbersome packs at Tiger Treks and headed off in the back of a 4wd tuk tuk (they have a name starting with S but it’s slipped my memory and isn’t important) with our stuffed day packs on our backs. We picked up mountain bikes from the outskirts of Chiang Mai to begin our 2hour ride to the Provence over. We took in the beautiful farm land covered in fruit, vegetables and rice fields while our guide chattered away in a bid to get to know us better and we avoided all pot holes trying not to damage already bruised butts from the elephant rides the day before. The tour was a group tour but no one got the memo that Laura and I are the life of the party so it ended up being a discounted private tour.

First, the young cotton house, a museum depicting a typical Thai home and black and white photographs of beauty pageants. It was an airy and dusty place but interesting nonetheless.
I’m not sure how he managed it but our guide Lex managed to begin a conversation in fruit and end it with ladyboys until we went back to talking about the land.

We thought we were biking at a pretty leisurely pace but ended up beating the truck to the temple so hand the opportunity to wander around another great Wat, Wat Phrathat Haripunchai… Etc etc. Our guide didn’t give us sarongs, even after asking which made the walk around the outside of the temple rather uncomfortable and to add to that we were pretty sure ol Lex was giving us the up-down.

A young pyro at work:

Tourist Monk:

We had an hour drive up into the hills with a stop at the markets, snacks and our bikes.

We had lunch in a small heavily touristed village before our hike began. It was uphill and hot but the landscape was amazing as the land morphed from farms to bamboo filled forest arching along a small river.

Animal count:
1 snake (10 minutes in)

Our guide thinks Laura would beat me in a fight and didn’t buy my fake martial experience one bit. Please stop imagining us in some weird fight Lex.

We saw some waterfalls.

We arrived at our home stay after about 3-4 hours walking. A beautiful home with million dollar views, a landscaped garden with rohdindenrons and all. We were amazed, definitely not expected at all.

Laura and I sat down to help prepared a delicious dinner or vegetables, rice and green curry. After dinner we sat watchig the sunlight fade as lex chattered on, the 18 year old son of the hosts sat awkwardly nearby and the rest of the family made their dinner. Laura and I retired early for bed, not wishing to even brush our teeth, we sighted tiredness but if we’re honest it was cold hard awkward uncomfortableness.

Laura’s rooster series:

Gems from Lex, Day 1:
-You wear red lipstick? I try? Nope
-I get a headache when I don’t drink You potentially have a problem
-I can give you massage? Tomorrow Nope
– Taught us new way to open a bottle…
-“ladyboys boobs are hard” TMI
-You take your shower now?? Don’t tell me what to do.
-I have a wife she walk in to see another lady with me in her room. Just follow your heart. Again TMI
-We taught him a new word: Colleague

Day 2:
We got an additional guide for today to lead us through short cuts and off the beaten track and were fuelled by our favourite gluten free breakfast, rice soup! (Much tastier than the Laos version).
Our lunch stop was in a very nice village of 4 families with “modern” homes, ’twas very nice! That was until we were chased back to our host house by viscous angry dogs, one almost bit my leg as we calmly walked away. Far out… Apparently they forgot to tell us to take a stick? Um, thanks.

Piglets!

After another few hours walking we came to the village for our final night sleeping as the locals do. This family was the bestest, cutest twins and lovely parents.

We moved down to the house below and had a chinwag around the campfire with another much larger trekking group, so nice to have a variety of chat! (Dig at Lex).
Things Lex said, Day 2:
-*Takes photo of the three of us* “I just sent that to my friend and he’s very jealous” Um, thanks for asking
– You tired? I carry you later, no no no
-You wear nail polish? It makes you beautiful. Cool, nope.
– He likes warm beer and to shower so it makes him drunker.So about that drinking…
– Asked to borrow moisturiser as his skin very dry. I think that’s BYO buddy.
-You guys have boyfriends? Yes! No we won’t send them the photo they’re not the jealous type. (Insert potential boyfriend backstory here… At least lex bought it.)
-Next time apparently we’re very fit and strong girls so should do a harder trek. Oh Lex you complement us!
Day 3:
Rise and shine to our final day of trekking! Once again the scenery was completely different, quartz quartz everywhere!

About half way int the days walking on the ridge of a hill, Lex stops and asks to borrow my phone to call the guy picking us up. Dialogue as follows:
Me: sorry my phone doesn’t work here. Um what happened to your phone?
Lex: Battery has died.
L&L: So we’re up here without a cell, what if something happens!?
Yada yada yada etc etc etc
Lex: so?
L&L: That’s pretty unprofessional Lex.
His pace got considerably faster after this discussion but the scenery was still amazing!

Got charged at by a baby elephant- ultimate cuteness!

Despite the unprofessionalism of our guide we had an awesome time, the scenery, the villages and the homes we stayed in and never once did we feel threatened by Lex just uncomfortable and some times hilariously awkward.

Post Trek Thai massage, oh so necessary and Zabai Thai pulled out all the stops.

Congratulations, you made it to te end of the post! I kinda speed through this because hello I’m in Japan and that’s very very exciting! Look snow!

Xx