Stepping off the coach into Melbourne City, yes city, my heart skipped a beat. Are those people? Is that a department store? Starbucks? Is this heaven? With a late-skim-mocha-soy-frappé-a-chino in hand I took a seat, people watched to the docile tones of bublé which was incredibly fitting (like movie soundtrack appropriate as he’s my hosts favourite), waiting to be reunited with one of my favourite girls Claire! She even brought her man Paul to say hi before he slipped off to the races and her/my lover Mike/Michael (that’s Michael Kors for those unacquainted).
After a quick stop to dispose of excess baggage we did what all intelligent people do on a 30 degree Melbourne afternoon and headed to St. Kilda for a spot of culture, fro-yo and a general perve. We only had to gather our composure, pick up our jaws from the boardwalk and continue walking once much to the confused amusement of an Asian man who’d been watching us.

As I’m now in the city this evening date continued into a late night meal at an incredible Mexican joint called Mamacitas. They even had a cocktail named after me but Claire and I chose sexypresso’s because we’re those sorts of gals (see below for clarification).

The wait staff had somewhat exceptional banter. Our waiter on hearing that we were going to check out Spice Market suggested we try Revolver instead unless we were those sorts of people. Before I elaborate on who “those sorts of people” are I feel it’s more important to discuss Revolver. For folks not in the know, I was once in the dark too before hearing this and I now wish I’d remained there. Revolver is an open 24/7, never cleaned, dirty,scantily clad, catch a disease, get yo grind on strangers sort of place. Now on Claire’s request “those sorts of people” who frequent Spice Market were explained to be “over* dressed girls, men in suits and r’n’b” and the look Claire and I exchanged was of the ‘can I get a hells-to-the-yeayah’ nature. He clearly miss judged his audience. *this was an incorrect observation they were mostly nicely dressed.

Spice Market’s decor was a beautiful mix of Moroccan and Indian culture with private alcoves adorned with cushions for the VIPs and open tiled function rooms surrounding a pumping glow-stick clad dance floor. Party party. Drinks in hand we busted out our best moves and I by no means knocked Claire’s drink from her hands, I’m too coordinated.

One main question came out of this night: if a man buys you a drink how long do you have to hang around? Claire and I would always stay and talk after a drinks been bought, it’s a nice gesture, especially when it’s and espresso martini. But how long does one stay? Half the drink? The whole drink? A boogie after? Because although nice and great banter these men weren’t our cuppa and we didn’t know how to get away without awkwardly crossing paths again. So our conundrum was resolved by leaving after a toilet break. Not ideal when leaving results in two girls being left on the street after every Taxi driver refuses to let you into their car because your house is only 15 min drive away. Dicks. Melbourne sort this out please. We were lucky we had Paul.

Sunday was spent with breakfast at the local cafe, strolling down Brunswick street, ogling design stores,visually eating every pastry and cake we passed until we encountered Shocolate. We crouched in front of the cabinets in a conflicted state for minutes until Claire declared that we were only allowed two each, she’s mean. Hardest decision ever. I got pistachio and Turkish delight and we got a twist of salted caramel to share. (Photo taken before reading no photo sign, fewf)

Next stop I was dragged (not I bounded) into the most incredible store, T2. Floor to ceiling teas and vessels of every flavour and shape imaginable. Insert child in candy store awe here. Claire and Paul are such TEAses. Following this Claire and I ventured into the city for a spot of retail (no therapy as we didn’t need treatment for anything).

Generic Yarra shot.

Sunday night was spent with family. We’d all grown a foot since I’d last seen them and they had a new addition. Both of the house renovations and 9 year old daughter kind. This was so fabulous and it felt like it had been weeks not years since I’d last seen them. Love that about family.

Monday was spent doing errands etcetera fun fun, until I did the very hip thing and met up with Claire after work for drinks and dinner.

Enter Movida and the most incredible food ever. Quince paste and goats cheese, calamari and squid ink, dried wagyu and poached egg, chicken and butter leeks. Heaven and that wasn’t even everything we tried. Devoured too soon so you cannot sure in this pleasure,sorry. The waiters here also had great chat, sensing a trend?
“Do you ladies want dessert or are you deserting?” Hahaha laugh together now. Probably the best waiter material I’ve ever heard and I will be recycling this one! We deserted and went home, watched Sex and the City and ate Claire’s mum’s divine brownies. Perfect last night.
I tucked into some baked eggs this morning from The Hardware Societé before heading to the airport. Recommend, recommend, recommend if you’re ever here.

After a fabulous few days in Melbourne with people I adore, incredible food, laughs and beautiful architecture I feel truly blessed.
Watch out Melbourne I’ve decided you’re my next city I want to call home, I’m in love. Once I raise the millions I need to purchase and decorate the homes I’ve already figuratively bought and designed. Though I’m sure it’s the first of many cities I’ll fall in love with knowing me.

Bangkok (and Laura) I’m coming for ya!

Travel whoopsie no.1 : Went to Tullamarine instead of Avalon airport for my flight to Sydney but there was another flight at the same time and a crisp fiddy got me safely to Sydney. Fewf.

Travel win: I’ve been marked for a potential upgrade to business class on my Emirates flight to BKK. They usually unmark people in exercise gear but the guy thought I was nice and deserved it, so fingers crossed!