My time in Nyah West has come to an end and I’m writing this from a weird curdled milk and perfume smelling, over aircond coach heading for Melbourne- let the adventure begin!

This last week has been a battle! I don’t know whether it was the onions, heat, flies, dust, early starts, adventure anticipation or a combination but I got well and truly over the secluded, slow paced country life. Please remind me of this statement when, come February, I’m having a moan about being confined to an ergonomic chair in an inner city office and urning for the outdoors.

Now let’s take a trip back to last Friday, the Nyah West Christmas Fair. What an affair it was, with the whole town gathering in the park. I was surprised at the turn out even though numbers were apparently down on previous years. It was the quaintest cutest gathering you could ever imagine like straight out of Gilmore Girls. I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face it was real life, these adorable fairs actually happened.
The main road was closed and the IGA across from the park stayed open late to ensure everyone had their fair needs. Ice and booze for the chilly bin, I mean esky, please. There are no socially restricting liquor bans in these parts. So, as the kids begged, bargained and pleaded to go on the bouncy castle, see Santa, ride the “train” or horse and cart, the adults knocked back a few and listened to music being performed from a semi trailer. I use adults as loose term as this includes anyone with child and could very possibly be a teenager. I felt like a minority, 22 sans children (yes plural) and decked in a Topshop dress. I don’t mean to offend but lady your granddaughter called and she wants her crochet white mini and pink tank back, ta. Disclosure: this is by no way a reflection on my family, they know how to online shop and dress for their shape/age.

I joined the kids for a horse and cart ride and chose the Cinderella chariot, duh. Still struggling to get a bloody nice photo of them and didn’t manage.


I followed this with a genuine goat curry, I was alerted to the fact it was prepared by the new resident Indians (oh Nyah). Goat is amazing, I highly recommend it! After this I headed to the local pub with a few of my friends from work to drink and be merry with the other backpackers from the caravan park. I had the pleasure of meeting many gorgeous people including some very nice to look at French and Germans, I was told beware of dirty Berty and they were not wrong! From here we viewed the spectacular fireworks sponsored by Croft Farms. These were not your average warehouse boombox, these went off! Lasted a good over 5 minutes and were everything a firework lover could dream of; Variety, colour, sparkle and bang!

The pub was a hoot. It’s huge to begin with, two courtyards, function room, multiple pool areas, dining room, pokies, accommodation etc and like the fair it was everything I could have hoped for in a country pub cheap drinks, good chat and the locals from the fair popped in with children to party the night away. It’s weird being slightly intoxicated as a kid asks their dad for another $1 to get chocolate at 12:30am. Even the vending machines filled all your desires.

The working week then started with onions. Hands and knees in unweeded fields quickly derooting and deheading onions under the heat of the sun is gruelling alone, then comes along love grass. Love grass adores me and latched on to my pants top, bra, the works, however, this love was unrequited as I broke out in a full-body rash. I’d show you a photo but you don’t wanna see that so here are some of the pellets on pellets of an incomplete onion harvest.

When the opportunity came to transport Grandma to Oyen for an appointment on Tuesday I “regrettably” obliged. It was a lovely trip with beautiful landscapes on the drive and I kindly humoured Grandma in a walk around the well kept town post appointment. This was so she could show me the sights and say hi, inform me of the life story and connection of every Tom, dick and Harry we passed. I held an intervention and actually prevented her from buying a plant- go me!
I also found a gallery with the an amazing artist exhibiting her works in an old butchery. Those wood panelled walls are divine!

On the drive back I missed a turn off but drove past the most amazing picture perfect landscape ever. It’s now my favourite spot and I knew at the time and have been living a life of regret since, I should have pulled over and taken a photo. But imagine this; maroon, pink and white salt flats dotted with mini dark green shrubs and black deadwood trees blending into bright yellow freshly harvested rolling hay fields, bright blue sky with one or two fluffy white clouds for good measure. You’re right, your imagination can’t do it justice and google earth of the salt flats just out of Piangle is 5 years out of date, so don’t bother.

On Wednesday I returned to the onion fields, sigh, but we capitalised on the rain dances we’d all been performing in our heads and made the move into the sheds for the afternoon and spent everyday there for the rest of the week. I still love carrots and made sure I consumed them like they were going out of fashion this week. I also checked my sock tan line and the verdict is in, I got my much desired tan or maybe skin yellowing from carrot over consumption, so actually the juries still out on the tan result.

Was sad to say goodbye to my fellow sweatshop workers yesterday but the fields produced a 730g mega carrot just for my farewell. “Get Poppy the smallest girl to hold it so it looks extra big!” And yes philippo’s tee says I ❤ Trani and yes he didn't understand why my cousin and I laughed about it.

Following the goodbyes,au revoirs, oi’s and other languages I had family dinner at the pub. Spent the journey there tossing up between chicken noodle or tomato cup of soup. Ended up with grilled fish and chips. Nyah West you’ve out done yourself again, I’ll be back for seconds in no time. Thanks for the memories, it’s time to make some more!